Beginning a healthy relationship.

The most important thing to remember in forming healthy relationships is to remember to accept people just as they are and not trying to change them. If you decide that you cannot tolerate someone as they are it is better to just avoid them altogether if at all possible.

The second most important thing is efficient communication. This means when they are talking listen closely. Think before giving advice or disagreeing. If you think of something to say or ask while they are talking make sure you don’t interrupt. If something they say isn’t clear ask them to explain and don’t assume things they may not mean. It is better to let them explain.

Communication is listening as well as talking. Share experiences but try to stay on the same subject. They need to know you have heard them and understood. Your responses will prove you are a good listener, or not.

Another point that is very important is to speak from your perspective. Be very careful when starting statements with “You”. You will nearly always sound critical or even controlling. Don’t speak as a tyrant or “know-it-all”. Put your self on their level not below, it’s called false modesty, and not above, this is didactic, or the teacher attitude. People normally feel more comfortable with people who treat them as equals regardless of position, sex or age.