Conflict Resolutions.

In every relationship there will eventually arise a conflict. There are many things to remember in a conflict but usually it is difficult to remember them. This is because emotions are usually high. Conflicts should not be viewed as negative experiences. Conflicts are great opportunities for learning and growth of the relationship. The stronger the emotions involve the greater the opportunity for learning about the people involved in the conflict. The more hopeless a resolution seems the greater the opportunity for creative resolutions.

The main question to ask is: “What causes me to have such strong reactions?” “When/why and with whom does it frequently happen?”

The main thing that will allow or insure a resolution to occur is for both or all parties sincerely desires to reach a win/win solution, without needing to prove right or wrong. This is a time to ignore judgment, blame and defensiveness and open up the possibility for a creative solution and finding new ways to respond, instead of react. This is the time to be inquisitive, curious, courageous and even playful.

Conflict happen because all people’s perceptions of reality can be very different. In friendships and romantic relationships people’s expectations can vary greatly. We need to recognize that the other person believes as strongly as we do about their opinions and expectations. Also all parties should acknowledge that each person’s perspective, are all equally valid.

Conflicts and misunderstandings are very easy today in the Internet world were people communicate in text only. Slightly critical statements can appear to be rude when the person typing may not be trying to be rude.

Calm communication and a desire to resolve conflicts are critical so we can hear and respect each person’s perspective, and discuss all views and come to an agreement that is beneficial to all parties.

Bobby Burcham